Growing Up With a Sick Mommy

I worry sometimes about what it will be like for my son to grow up with a sick Momma (although I always hold out hope for a cure any day).   At the moment he’s so young and doesn’t know how thankful I am that he still takes 4-5 naps a day so I can have some downtime and let my brain rest.  He doesn’t know that most houses are filled with light and sunshine, instead of closed blinds and low watt light bulbs.  He doesn’t know that sometimes when Daddy comes to take him it’s because Mommy’s not feeling well and not just because Daddy can’t wait to hang out with him (although Daddy enjoys it too).  He doesn’t know that the reason Mommy isn’t there every morning when he wakes up is because she desperately needs her rest in order to make it through the day.  He doesn’t know that the reason Daddy carries him up the steps many times, is because sometimes Mommy can barely walk up the steps herself without huffing and puffing.  He doesn’t know that the reason he doesn’t go out many places is because Mommy gets over stimulated even faster than him and most trips are a chore.  Even when I’m not feeling well he is showered with kisses, cuddles and lots of love.  So, I’m sure it will be like what most adults say looking back at their childhood  -- “I didn’t know any different.”

Constant Pain

So what’s it like to live with constant migraine pain?  It’s debilitating, it’s lonely, it’s dark, it’s boring, it’s frustrating, it’s a lot of negative things.  However, when the pain isn’t clouding my better judgement, I prefer to be thankful for all the things I can do and not focus on all the things my chronic pain has taken away.  Sure, my life is a lot different now than it was just a few years ago when I met my husband.  We travelled, socialized with friends frequently, went out on fun evening dates to new restaurants and places, and visited with family often.  However, even though we can’t do a lot of the things we used to do we can still do some things.  Since I feel better during the mornings/afternoons, we try to take dates during the day instead, instead of going out to see movies we usually stay in and watch a tv show together, we eat out less often now that I can’t work FT but still try to make the most of it when we do eat out (although it’s normally a restaurant close to home and more budget friendly).  We also have a new bundle of joy in our lives since our son arrived August 2013 so our adventurous life was sure to slow down naturally anyway and we treasure our time spent together just the three of us.

I could easily get lost in the negativity of what migraines have stole from me, but I’ve always tried to focus on the positive side of life no matter what the circumstance.  I am very aware and overwhelmingly thankful that although I have a chronic disease, it is not physically or mentally crippling the way many diseases are and it’s not life threatening either.  I’m so thankful to have the gift of life and although sometimes when I feel like I could die from the pain, I remind myself that I still have LIFE.